Pokemon: Akatsuki Style!
by RBMIfan
Summary: What happens when our four favorite Akatsuki members are transported into the poor, unsuspecting world of pokemon? One thing's for sure, the pokemon world will never be the same. Discontinued. See rewrite, Mobius.
1. Why You Should Avoid Glitches

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Pokemon or anything else in here that belongs to someone else. If I did, Sasori would never have died and Team Rocket would be a lot cooler.**

This fic came about one day when my brother and I were watching the sixth pokemon movie (which isn't worth watching, by the way) ,when the villain(-ish) was flying around being dramatic and I wondered what would happen if Deidara flew by and knocked him out of the air. Things went downhill from there. The sad part is I can actually picture the Akatsuki as pokemon trainers. I'll be following the game mostly, I think, since I haven't watched the show in years. If I get something wrong don't hesitate to tell me. Hopefully by the time the second chapter comes out I'll have something resembling a plot worked out.

Anyway, summary is: What happens when our four favorite Akatsuki members (i.e. Itachi, Kisame, Deidara and Sasori. I might add others if you ask me to) are mysteriously transported to the poor, unsuspecting pokemon world? Nothing good. Team Rocket's about to be shown up as some _real_ villains enter the picture. Mwahahaha. Oh, and the pokemon at the start is missing-no. Because what better way to open up a hole between worlds than with the glitch pokemon. Anyway, tell me what you think. I don't think this has been done before.

"blah" – Communicating through speech

'_blah'_ – Communicating through glances. My way of including Itachi in conversations without making him too OOC.

Chapter One: Missing-no

The Akatsuki's most famous pair were in wind country doing what they usually did - catching biju. This one was proving a bit stranger than usual. It looked strange, too, all pixelly and blurred. Itachi and Kisame were a little taken aback by this, and had thought it prudent to call for backup. Especially after Itachi's Mangekyou Sharingan had no effect on it. So it was that Sasori and Deidara were there, too.

Itachi was currently staring at the biju with his sharingan, trying to figure out why his fire was affecting it. What he saw just made his head spin, as if he was seeing billions of scenes from billions of different places all at once. Not that he showed it. Getting dizzy in front of others would just ruin his reputation.

Deidara was behind a rock with Sasori making his biggest clay sculpture yet. The small ones hadn't even annoyed it and he'd wasted a lot of clay on them. Luckily he'd found tons of it in the marsh-like ditch he was currently kneeling beside. Sasori was mourning over his puppet, the one he'd just finished making the day before and that was now ruined beyond repair.

Kisame was getting frustrated. His water attacks just slid off the thing. Nobody had quite managed to work up the courage to get into close combat, it's appearance was so unnerving. Finally, he got fed up and unsheathed Samehada. If chakra attacks wouldn't work, maybe a chakra-eating sword would. He rushed toward the biju.

"Kisame, wait!" Itachi ordered the shark-nin, who ignored him. Itachi hesitated, then ran after him. Deidara and Sasori, noticing this, looked at each other before following at a safe distance. They were long-range fighters, after all.

When the Samehada touched the pixel biju, however, something strange happened. An icy numbness filled the four Akatsuki members, which alarmed Sasori seeing how he hadn't felt anything in almost twenty years, and they suddenly became light-headed. Itachi was the first to notice that his body had become pixelated, though to his sharingan it just looked like it was disappearing. The others held their hands in front of their faces in a kind of mute astonishment. Then the world went white. The last thought Itachi had was that he should probably be alarmed.

* * *

They woke up in a strange, brightly lit room. As soon as Sasori opened his eyes a pink-haired woman in a nurse's outfit, with the strangest hair he'd ever seen in his life, walked over. Upon looked at her neon hair and the bright, sickeningly sweet smile on her face, Sasori decided she was someone he should get away from as fast as possible.

"Oh, you're awake." She addressed him in a concerned, high-pitched voice. "We were very worried about you. When we found you all unconscious near the town we thought you'd been attacked by wild pokemon. The other three seem to be fine, but you weren't breathing."

Inwardly, Sasori cursed. This was why he hated doctors, they always asked annoying questions. He hoped she hadn't noticed that he still wasn't breathing. That could be awkward. He was in the middle of thinking up a decent excuse when Deidara woke up, took one look at the situation and, with his usual uncanny ability, deduced in seconds what was going on.

"Sasori-danna has a condition where his wind pipes don't work properly, un. He almost died when he was born, but the doctors managed to put together an alternate way of breathing in time to save him, un. It's really cutting edge, but Sasori-danna doesn't really like talking about it. he was teased pretty badly when he was young, un." Throughout the explanation, Deidara's face just oozed sincerity in that way that made most people trust him instantly. Which was fortunate, because Sasori didn't know if what Deidara had just described was even possible.

The nurse's face immediately went from confused to motherly. "Oh, you poor thing!" Sasori sent his partner a half-hearted glare. Now the nurse would hover over him the entire time they were there. Another reason to get out of there quickly.

Kisame woke up next. He sat up, took in the scene, and decided to put his two cents in. "So, where are we?"

They looked at him. Sasori wondered if Deidara could come up with an excuse to explain Kisame's appearance.

"You're in Pallet town! Officer Jenny found you guys when she was patrolling the town outskirts and brought you to the new Pokemon Center. " She hesitated here. "We thought, from your…appearance…that maybe you'd escaped from Team Rocket."

"Okay, back up," Kisame interrupted her. "First, let's get some things straight. What is a pokemon? Who are you? And who is Team Rocket?"

The nurse was surprised at this. "You've never heard of pokemon?"

"Obviously not. Are you going to tell us or not?" Sasori spoke up for the first time.

"Well…here, let's do it this way." She walked over to a shelf filled with red and white balls. Picking one up, she tossed it to the floor, where it opened and, with a burst of white light, a small bird appeared. "This is a pidgey, a flying pokemon. There are many different kinds, like fire or water. They live in the wild all over the land and some people catch them with pokeballs." She showed them the ball the pidgey had come out of. Some keep them as pets but others, called Pokemon Trainers, train them to battle. They travel all over the world training until eventually they get good enough to try for the title of Pokemon Master." Just then a light came on near the door. "Oh, someone needs me out front. You can stay here and play with the pidgey until I come back."

When she was gone, Itachi spoke up. "Is she gone?"

"Yeah."

"Good." He sat up and opened his eyes, revealing sharingan on full alert. "We seem to be in another world."

Sasori looked at him. "No, really?" He began to check that all his things were in place. They were, evidently nobody had thought to search them for weapons. Which was another thing that bugged him. "Wherever we are, he people are extremely trusting."

Kisame nodded. "We should probably keep our skills secret until we know what's considered normal here. No sense alienating the populace when we'll need them to find a way out of here." As always, he came up with the practical plan.

Through all of this, Deidara had taken the nurse's invitation to play with the pidgey. As all birds seemed to, the pidgey immediately got very attached to the blond. He looked up when he felt the others' eyes on him. "Can I keep it, un?"

* * *

Over in the clearing the four Akatsuki had been found in, there was another flash and Sasuke was deposited unceremoniously to the ground. Through a twist of fate (i.e. he was still conscious) Sasuke managed to collect himself and move off the path before he was picked up. A trio of teenage girls came into view and Sasuke considered asking them where he was. Remembering his fanclub back in Konoha, however, he decided to stay hidden.

As they passed his position, he could hear them giggling over something called a Jigglypuff. It sounded like something a civilian girl would play with. Then one of them took out what looked to be some type of ball and made a large, pink fluffy thing come out of it. Sasuke's eyes narrowed. How had she done that? It wasn't any jutsu he'd seen, and no self-respecting shinobi would have a summon like that. He was almost tempted to come out and ask what it was, but as soon as he got a good look at the pink thing the sheer, unrelenting, horrible cuteness of it made him freeze in his tracks. By the time he recovered the group was long gone. On second thought, maybe it _would_ be a good summon.

No matter. His first priority was to find his brother. It Itachi thought being sucked into another was going to stop Sasuke from getting his revenge he had another thing coming.

* * *

The four Akatsuki members were lined up against the wall of Professor Oak's lab. Said professor was currently attempting to explain the nature of pokemon and pokemon trainers to the mystified shinobi.

"And that is what a pokemon is. Whatever you choose to do you will be affected by them one way or another, so it is important to gain an understanding."

"Okay. What do we do if we want to be trainers?" Since none of the Akatsuki could even consider a normal, sedentary life becoming pokemon trainers was the obvious choice. Besides, they'd need to move around to find a way home, and depending on how powerful these creatures were they might bring some back with them.

"First you'll need to get your very first pokemon. People get them in a variety of ways, but where you would get one is here. I happen to have some starting pokemon just imported from the Johto region. Once you begin your journey you'll encounter many more. The life of a pokemon trainer is full of surprises. You'll meet many wonderful people and build lasting friendships."

A noise that sounded suspiciously like a snort dame from Sasori at that last part. It was masked, however, by a loud hoot coming from Deidara's cloak.

"What is that?" The professor asked curiously. Sasori rolled his eyes.

"Seriously, Deidara, if you're going to steal the pidgey do it properly." He commented dryly. Deidara pouted.

"I was in a hurry, un."

Professor Oak looked quite alarmed by this. "I should tell you that stealing pokemon is about the worst thing you can do. Only the lowest of the low would do something so despicable."

Deidara had the sense to look repentant. "I'm sorry, un. It was just so cute…and it was looking at me just begging me to take it with me, un. It seemed so lonely…" Fortunately, Deidara had a gift for looking innocent, something none of the other Akatsuki members bought for an instant but that everybody else did. The professor fell for it.

"Well, I suppose I can overlook it this once. Just make sure not to do it again." He seemed to consider something. "As a matter of fact, we've been looking for an owner for that pidgey for a while. You see, she's the runt of her litter. Most pidgey are much bigger, and no matter what we do we can't teach her how to fly."

Deidara's eyes went wide. "You mean I can keep it?" So surprised was he that he dropped the 'un' at the end of the sentence.

"Her," the professor corrected, "and yes, if you promise to take care of her. Do you have her pokeball?"

"Yeah. " Deidara pulled out the pokeball. "I didn't know how to use it, un."

"Then it's settled! I assume you all want pokemon as well?" At their nods he continued. "If you follow me, I'll show you where we keep the pokemon we give to starting trainers."

They shrugged and followed him through the lab. Soon they came to a room much like the last one, but with an odd-looking table in the center. On the table were three red and white balls identical to the one belonging to the pidgey.

"These three pokemon have been handpicked as excellent starting pokemon. You may each choose one." Walking to the table, he released the three pokemon. "They're called Totadile, Cyndaquil and Chikorita.

Kisame took one look at the totadile and made his choice. The totadile disagreed, and shot a rather strong water gun at his face. This, of course, just made him like the pokemon even more. Nobody could figure out why. Or at least Sasori couldn't figure out why. Deidara was too busy rolling on the floor laughing, while Itachi was inspecting the other two pokemon.

"It's puny." He poked the cyndaquil, causing it to burst into flames. Itachi blinked and, ignoring his smoking hand, actually smiled. It was the first sign of emotion he'd shown all day, causing Kisame to think maybe this world was a good influence on him. "I'll take it."

That left Sasori with the chikorita. The puppetmaster looked at the pokemon. The chikorita bounced up and rubbed against his leg. He twitched. "No."

Kisame gave him an almost-sympathetic look. The professor was puzzled. "He's the only one left. Looks like he likes you."

"I don't want it." Sasori stated flatly, and it was clear that he wasn't going to budge on the matter. The chikorita looked up at him, hurt. Professor Oak picked it up.

"There there, he didn't mean it like that." He soothed the distraught pokemon. Returning it to its pokeball, he turned back to Sasori. "You should be more considerate. Pokemon have feelings too, you know."

Sasori didn't reply, making the professor frown. "I don't have any more pokemon to give you."

"That's fine. I don't want one."

"I see. Perhaps it's for the best. Will you be staying here for a while or will you start your journey?"

"We'll leave," Itachi spoke up. He headed for the door, the other three following behind.

"Wait! I just remembered something!" They turned as the professor started rooting around the cupboards. "" want you each to have one of these." He held out four red devices. "These are called pokedexes. Whenever you catch a pokemon it's recorded here. Also, they're equipped with information on every known kind of pokemon. Just point it at the pokemon and a profile of it will come up. This is the newest version I just finished a couple of days ago. I took the liberty of making a manual that outlines all the features, so be sure to go through it eventually.

"Thanks," Deidara thought to say as they inspected the pokedexes.

Sasori was frowning. "Do they come in other colors?"

"No, I'm afraid not."

He was about to comment again when there was a shout from outside. Professor Oak immediately ran outside to see what was wrong. The Akatsuki, having nothing better to do, followed. When they got outside they found the professor kneeling beside a young boy who was nursing a scraped knee and wiping away tears.

"It's alright now," he soothed. "Can you tell me what happened?"

"W-well, I was walking home a-and this green thing j-just jumped out at me a-and I think it hit me 'cause I fell down. A-and then everything sort of went funny a-and I couldn't see right," the boy sobbed.

"It's gone now," the professor assured the boy. "Why don't you go home. I'll make sure it doesn't bother you again."

"O-okay." Professor Oak turned toward his lab with a sigh.

"I bet it's that ralts again," he murmured, looking at some bushes.

"Ralts?" Deidara questioned. Sasori was looking at some bushes curiously.

"It's a psychic pokemon that's been causing trouble lately, but nobody can find it." The professor shook his head, stopping as he noticed Sasori heading into the forest. "I'd advise you not to go in there without a pokemon to protect you," he called out. Sasori glanced back.

"I think I can handle it. I'll catch up to you later."

"But-."

"Just let him go. Sasori can take care of himself." Kisame advised the concerned professor.

"Are we leaving now? I'm bored,un," Deidara complained from his position against of the houses lining the road.

"In a minute, Deidara," Kisame waved the blond off as he turned back to the professor. The blond pouted and wandered off. "So we just wander around aimlessly for a few years?"

"Well there are several goals many trainers use to decide where to go. For example, throughout each region there are several gyms where trainers go to test their skills. If you defeat the gym leader in a pokemon battle you receive a badge. After you've collected all the badges in a particular region you can participate in a tournament held once a year and go head to head with other top-notch trainers to decide who will be called the champion."

"Sounds exciting." It was hard to tell whether Kisame was being sarcastic or not.

"Oh, it is. I remember when I was a young boy…"

"Oh, look at the time." Kisame must have been pretty desperate, because there were no clocks in sight." We should be going. Now where did Deidara go?" He looked over at Itachi questioningly.

Itachi's glance was bored. _'I wasn't watching him.'_

"Great. We've lost Deidara again."

* * *

"Are you sure it was a good idea to let them leave like that?" Nurse Joy asked softly after the group had left.

"No, but I think they'll be fine."

"It's not them I'm worried about."


	2. Getting Seriously Lost

I actually had this written and typed up way before I posted Imperfect Portraits. Then I accidentally deleted it. So this is the retyped version.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon or Naruto. If I did, Team Rocket would be a lot cooler and the Akatsuki would be the main characters.**

Chapter Two: Getting Seriously Lost

Sasuke was in a bad mood. Maybe it was the fact that he was trudging through a damp, dark forest that strongly resembled a rainforest. Which made absolutely no sense since he could have sworn he saw an evergreen forest right beside it. He wondered why he hadn't gone through that one instead. At least then he'd be able to make out where the ground was and avoid getting lost. Not that he was lost. And even if he was, it was only because this forest was so confusing. Not to mention the fact that even if he'd been in a wide open field, he'd still have no idea where he was, courtesy of being in a strange world.

So preoccupied was he in mourning his many troubles and blaming Itachi for them that it took him a full half hour to figure out that he was being followed. By a brown furball that was too cute for its own good. And seemed to know how to walk on the moss without slipping. Sasuke was sure it was laughing at him every time he fell on his butt. Or his face. That hadn't been pleasant. He was going to need a bath after this. He wondered if maybe the furball would know how to get out of this forest.

Actually, he thought suddenly, that was a good idea. He stopped, turned around, glanced at the log he was about to sit on, and decided to remain standing. He crossed his arms and put on his best 'are you going to come out already' look, Uchiha style. The fox-thing seemed to get the message and walked out into plain view (keeping perfect balance on the massy rocks, Sasuke noted disgustedly) and blinked up at him cutely.

"Vee?" it inquired hopefully, cocking its head. Sasuke stared at it, deciding on the best way to get it to help him (Orochimaru had managed to convince him that sometimes diplomacy _was_ better than brute force).

"So…what are you supposed to be?"

"Eevee!" the animal chirped happily.

"Is that your name?"

The animal nodded. "Eevee."

There was a pause. "That's a stupid name."

The eevee seemed to roll its eyes. "Eevee! Vee, ee!"

"You do realize I don't know what you're saying, right?" It probably should have occurred to Sasuke that most people didn't talk to animals (unless you were from a clan that did so regularly. Those were exceptions). A year at Orochimaru's, however, had effectively squashed that instinct, as many of the snakes there were much more pleasant to talk to than the humans. "Whatever. You any good at fighting?" He'd seen a bunch of kids earlier fighting with animals (that spit fire, always a plus) and he'd realized that perhaps they could give him an edge over Itachi.

"Vee!" Eevee nodded energetically.

"God. I guess you can come with me, then. But I'm going to give you a better name."

The eevee seemed to shrug, if that was possible.

"You are now…" Sasuke thought for a moment, "Fan Uchiha!" The eevee sweatdropped. Apparently it didn't agree with Sasuke on what constituted a good name. "Now find my brother!"

* * *

Sasori rejoined he group about a half hour into their journey (Kisame and Deidara were only ten minutes into their latest argument about whether it would be better to keep following the road or to take to the rather dense forest on either side of them). The sight of the puppetmaster sporting a broken nose, a crack down the side of one arm and with several fingers was enough to make even Itachi pay attention (though he tried not to show it).

In his good hand, Sasori held a ralts in worse shape than he was. It was obvious who had won the fight. The redhead walked wordlessly up to the group, fished out one of the red and white balls they'd been given, and pressed it to the glowering ralts' head. It would seem Sasori had found his pokemon.

"Kisame, you owe me five bucks." Deidara turned to the shark-man triumphantly and stuck out his hand.

"That doesn't count. They i did /i fight, obviously."

But Sasori-danna didn't kill it."

"That's not the point."

"Yes it is!"

This could go on for a while. Over in the (comparatively) sane part of the clearing, Sasori had sat down on a conveniently placed rock and started fixing himself. Since Deidara was otherwise occupied, he enlisted Itachi's help in doing so.

"I didn't expect you to be beaten up by something so small," he commented as he snapped on the last finger. Sasori scowled.

"The thing's telekinetic. It threw me clear across the forest by i looking /i at me. I figured I could use it to beat your sharingan." He smirked.

"Che, the way it was glaring at you, I bet it wouldn't listen."

"We came to an agreement," Sasori waved the comment away, "it'll listen to me."

"If you say so." Itachi looked back to where Kisame and Deidara were still arguing. "Cyndaquil, go break them up." The small pokemon that had been quietly napping beside Itachi looked up and made its way over to the pair. Stopping right next to Kisame's foot, it launched a stream of fire directly between them.

"What was that for?" Kisame turned to the cyndaquil angrily as Deidara looked sorrowfully at his singed hair.

"You were annoying me," Itachi answered flatly.

"Does anyone know where we're going?" Sasori inquired, changing the subject as he inspected his newly reattatched fingers. The other three looked at each other.

"I figure the road leads i somewhere /i , or they wouldn't have built it," Kisame reasoned, looking along said road. Currently it was occupied by a small boy, who looked like he was barely ten. Which again emphasized the difference between this world and the shinobi world, where sane ten year olds would stay inside for fear of missing-nins like the four sitting right there on the side of the road. This boy, upon noticing said missing-nins, lit up and started heading toward them. The boy was definitely not sane.

"Why am I getting a bad feeling about this?" Sasori asked nobody in particular as he watched the boy i not /i running away in fear.

"Hey, you guys are pokemon trainers, aren't you?" The kid yelled out when he got to the quartet.

"I guess..." Kisame wasn't sure where the kid was going with this.

"Great! I challeng you to a pokemon battle!"

"What, all of us?" Sasori eyed the boy impassively. He didn't much like kids. They reminded him of a certain idiotic partner of his.

"Of course not!" The kid scoffed, then began to size them up. Finally, he pointed at Deidara. "You! Girl! Battle me!"

This was the wrong thing to say. None of the Akatsuki members liked the boy's attitude in the first place (as any sane person back home would treat them with the utmost respect, for fear of their wrath). Deidara didn't take kindly to being called a girl, either, if his glare was any indication. Sasori and Kisame were mildly impressed, actually, while Itachi still refused to acknowledge any glare not made by an Uchiha.

The kid faltered slightly, obviously not used to being glared at, bu quickly regained his composure. There was something about being annoying that simply refused to take a hint. He grinned and pulled out one of those red and white balls.

"Go, rattatta!" There was a flash of light and a small, rat-like animal popped out.

It was at this point that it occured to our heroes (and we use this term very loosely) that they didn't know what to do next. There was an awkward silence.

"So...how exactly are they supposed to fight?" Deidara looked at the two tiny creatures skeptically.

"You can't be serious. You mean you don't know how to battle?" The kid was staring at them like they were stupid. "Do you know what attacks they can do?"

All four shook their heads. Arrogant this kid may be, but he seemed to know what he was talking about. Therefore, he would live. Until he did something really stupid, like call Kisame a fish. Kisame didn't tend to stop at merely glaring.

The kid sighed loudly, then assumed a long-suffering look. "I suppose I'll have to teach you. See that pidgey there? It should know tackle and growl. Tackle's pretty simple - the pidgey goes up and tackles his opponent. Growl tries to intimidate the opposing pokemon, making its attacks more hesitant and thus less effective."

Deidara blinked. The kid was smarter than he looked, apparently. "Oh. It's a lot like jutsu, then."

"Uh, sure." The kid gave him a strange look. "Each pokemon knows different kinds of moves, and as they gain experience they'll learn more. Like right now your cyndaquil should know the same moves as the pidgey, but later on it'll learn more fire-based moves and the pidgey'll learn more flying-based moves. There're books you can buy that go over it in more detail. Is that enough for now?"

Deidara grinned and nodded. "Pidgey, tackle that rattatta!"

"Hey, wha-? That's not fair!" The boy cried as Deidara's pidgey slammed into the surprised rattatta, knocking it across the road and into a clump of grass.

"What's not fair, un? You challenged me, like, ten minutes ago. Technically the battle started back then." Proving that you should never trust a criminal, not that the kid had any idea of who he was talking to.

When the kid looked back at Deidara, there was fire in his eyes. "So you wanna play dirty? Fine! Rattatta, get it together and tail whip him!"

The rattatta perked up at the sound of its trainer's voice, and dodged the pidgey's latest assault with new energy. It darted behind the startled bird and swept its tail under her feet, unbalancing the previously sure-footed creature.

"Great, its defences are down! Now tackle it!" The pidgey flapped her wings frantically to dodge, but the rattatta was faster, sending her flying into a tree. The boy winced sympathetically and Deidara scowled.

"Don't let him beat you, un! Take to the air!" Cornered, Deidara reverted to his favourite strategy. To the side, the other Akatsuki members looked on impassively.

"You know, having to yell out your strategy at the top of your lungs is going to be irritating," Sasori commented, watching the pidgey try to take off, without much success.

"Yeah, that seems kind of stupid. Can't they fight their own battles?" Kisame snorted.

"What do you mean you can't fly?" Deidara was having his own problems over on the battlefield. The pidgey looked at him and hooted annoyedly, as if saying 'it's not i my /i fault.'

"Alright, rattatta! Finish him off!" The rattatta hit the pidgey, distracted by her trainer, square in the back. The pidgey wobbled once, twice, and then collapsed.

"That kid attacked him from behind," Kisame whistled. Deidara ran out and picked up the pidgey tenderly.

"Man, you really suck." The kid had recalled his pokemon and now started walking away, whistling. Deidara glared at him from behind, but a sharp glance from Itachi stopped him from pursuing.

"We don't want trouble just yet," he ordered quietly, still leaning on the rock.

"Still, that was humiliating," Kisame stated bluntly. The others nodded in agreement.

"It seems this battling thing might not be as easy as we thought." Sasori fiddled with his pokeball, not quite willing to let the ralts out yet. They sat in silence for a while, contemplating this new situation.

"He said there were books on it, right? And maybe there are teachers..." Kisame said slowly. The others frowned, they didn't much like the thought of going back to school, but it seemed the fastest way, better than learning from trial and error.

"So we have to find a town," Sasori stated.

"Great! I'll fly ahead and scout one out, un!" Deidara piped up excitedly, putting the wounded pidgey in a makeshift sling across his chest.

"Yeah, and get the attention of everyone in a thousand mile radius." Kisame grabbed the blond's arm to stop him from grabbing his bag of clay.

"Aww, c'mon! That was only one mission, and it was because they were watching for it, un! These guys aren't."

Sasori sighed. "Let the brat fly around if he want. It's better than wandering around here aimlessly." Deidara, backed by his partner, turned puppy-dog eyes on Kisame.

Kisame relented finally. "Go ahead, but if it causes trouble it's your fault."

Itachi smirked from his rock as the blond took off. "While we're waiting, let's see if that ralts of yours is as good as you say it is."

"You sure you wanna find out?" Sasori uncoiled silently from the rock and lazily dropped the pokeball on the ground, letting it explode in a burst of light.

* * *

Deidara gazed at the landscape spread out before him. It mostly consisted of forest, with a light fog hovering just above the treetops. Deidara frowned. If the town was small, he might miss it in the mist.

Flying high enough to be mistaken for an ordinary bird (contrary to popular belief, Deidara wasn't stupid), he adjusted the lens on his mechanical eye (1) to zoom in and skim the tops of the trees, cutting through the fog as if it wasn't there. So intent was he on looking for anything that wasn't green that he almost didn't notice the huge bird headed straight for him until it was too late.

Cursing his innattentiveness, Deidara veered sharply to the right as a strange metal bird shot by, one razor-sharp wing grazing his cheek ever so slightly. As the sun hit the steel feathers, Deidara was too enraptured by the light show to notice the paperthin cut. "A metal bird..."

He was jolted back to reality when he realized the bird was headed for a tiny village nestled between the edge of the forest and the largest lake Deidara had ever seen. Adjusting his eye, he watched it alight on a woman's arm just outside the perimeter, presumably its trainer.

From her sling, the pidgey hooted softly. "You wanna fly like that, un?" Deidara asked her. The pidgey hooted again, sadly. "Well, whay shouldn't you be able to? I'll teach you, un." He steered the bird back to where the group was.

* * *

"Has anybody seen Kisame?" Hidan burst into the room where Kakuzu, Zetsu, and the Leader were playing poker.

"Kisame and the others have been missing for a week and you're just now noticing?" Kakuzu didn't look up from his cards.

"D'you think that bijuu killed them? It was kinda odd, wasn't it?"

"Hidan, if all four of them had met an opponent strong enough to kill them we would have heard the fight from here. Deidara probably saw something shiny on the way back. Or there." The Leader was surprisingly unconcerned about the status of half his organization.

"...Well, if they aren't back in another week I'm going to go look for them. Kisame still owes me for that scythe he broke and I'm not gonna let him get out of it by dying on me." With that, Hidan stormed back up the hallway to his happy place to pray.

* * *

"Sasuke? Don't tell me he's off training again." Kabuto sighed at the empty room assigned to the Uchiha. Why was he always convieniently away whenever it was time for a checkup? Kabuto made a mental note to have a chat with him when he got back as he closed the door. And thus, the shinobi world remained oblivious to its missing members.

End Chapter


	3. This World is What?

Some of you may have noticed the note I put on my author profile about this fic, saying that I was going to rewrite it in drabble format. Well, that didn't really go as planned. So what's going to happen is I'm going to scrap what I have so far and start over, using what I've come up with between the time I started and now. It's going to be completely different, and probably not as humor-focused. And it's going to be four separate fics, each following one Akatsuki member. I'm not going to post any of them until I have several chapters written, so don't expect anything soon, and they'll probably have a different title(s). But if you're interested, keep an eye out for them.

In the meantime, here is what I had written for chapter three before I lost momentum.

Chapter Three: This World Is What?!

"Zetsu-sama," Tobi began tentatively from the edge of the strange patch of pixelly grass they'd found at the spot the four missing Akatsuki members were supposed to have fought the bijuu.

"What is it, Tobi?" The Akatsuki scout was annoyed. The Akatsuki leader may not have been concerned at all about the missing shinobi, and Zetsu had long ago given up trying to understand their leader, but Zetsu found their sudden disappearance unsettling.

"Some of the animals here are…strange." Tobi was crouched down, looking at a small squirrel that had darted into the grass patch. The squirrel was watching him warily, its eyes gleaming with an intelligence that shouldn't have been possible in a mere wild animal. And its colour…Zetsu frowned; no squirrel he'd ever heard of had a blue sheen to its fur. He knew there was no shinobi clan that used squirrels as familiars, but it was better to be safe than sorry, and it was the only explanation he could think of at the moment.

"Tobi, get away from it. Now," he ordered crisply. His subordinate glanced at him in surprise before obediently springing backwards. The squirrel, startled, twitched and darted into the forest, leaving small sparks of electricity in its wake. Definitely not a normal squirrel.

* * *

"I don't like it." Itachi announced as soon as they caught sight of the town, nestled at the bottom of a gently sloping hill. The Akatsuki members stood at the top, just outside the forest.

"You're just sulking because you lost to the ralts." Sasori was smirking, though the Uchiha couldn't see it. The puppet stood in front of Itachi, looking down at the town critically. Beside him stood his ralts (though he himself never called it "his"), since he hadn't bothered to send it back to its pokeball after the fight. "However, it does look entirely too cheerful."

Itachi just scowled. "Everything about this world is too cheerful," he grumbled.

The town in question was rather small, extending barely two football fields out from the hill. Not that any of the Akatsuki members knew was football was, but that's not important. It was also built entirely in shades of white, red, yellow, and other such bright, friendly colours. Deidara, undaunted by the décor, had already run ahead, saying something about looking for a "shiny bird." The other three knew better than to ask questions. It was bad for their mental health (what little of it they had left).

"So…do we go in?" Kisame asked at length.

Sasori closed his eyes as if steeling himself. "Yes. We go in, find a bookstore, get the books we need, and leave."

Nobody mentioned that this plan depended heavily on this world taking the same currency theirs did. Neither did anybody mention just how unlikely that scenario was.

* * *

"Excuse me, un," Deidara began politely, addressing a middle-aged shopkeeper just closing up for the day. "I'm looking for a bird trainer – the one with the metal bird. Do you know where she is?"

The lady paused in locking the door to her shop. The afternoon sun reflected off the oversized glass windows, making her squint. "A metal bird? You must mean a Skarmory, dear. There's a trainer with one that came here just a week ago. I think she's staying at the inn just down the street." She indicated a small, two story, off-white building two blocks down.

"Thanks, un." Deidara flashed her his brightest smile before setting off for the inn. His pidgey flapped her wings slightly at the sudden movement, then resettled on his shoulder. Deidara was a little surprised at how easy it had been. Back home, people were a lot more cautious about strange visitors. You just never knew which ones were missing-nin or enemy shinobi hiding their identity.

* * *

"You! Yes, you three travelers! You're new pokemon trainers, aren't you?" The three Akatsuki members had barely gotten two feet into the town before they were spotted by a very enthusiastic young man who was running up.

"What makes you think that?" Sasori asked warily, eyeing the strange man. Said man was happily oblivious to the shinobi's less than trusting demeanor.

"Well, that's easy!" the man replied, as if Sasori had just given him a riddle to solve. "Almost every stranger than walks into this town from route 29 is a new trainer. That's because professor Elm lives in New Bark town, and is this region's authority on starting pokemon, so a lot of aspiring trainers go to him for their first pokemon."

"Wasn't his name Professor Oak?" Kisame whispered to the other two during this speech.

"Just smile and nod, Kisame. Smile and nod," Itachi whispered back, though he himself wasn't smiling.

"Anyway, I bet you guys don't know your way around the cities yet. And that's where I come in. Every time a new trainer comes in here, I give them a tour of the town, showing them need-to-know places for any pokemon trainer that can be found in any town or city you care to mention. So what do you say?"

The three Akatsuki members glanced at each other, the memory of Deidara's rather pathetic defeat still vivid. After only a moment's hesitation, Itachi stepped forward and nodded. "Very well. We'll take your tour."

"The young man's smile looked like it was about to spread off of his face. "Great! Follow me, please." He made a sweeping gesture to the town, turned and trotted off toward the nearest non-house-like building.

"This tour is either going to be really short, or the guy missed Deidara," Kisame observed as they followed their guide.

"Deidara probably talked his way out of it." Sasori was scowling at the guide's back, obviously not happy he had to listen to this guy for what could be a fairly long time.


End file.
